The pain most misunderstood.
There's no surprise that mental health in men is overlooked or not taken seriously but how deep is it really, in this post I'll go over the long history of mental health in black men and men of color and the impact of accumulated generational trauma, expectations in society and the hyper-masculinity found in the culture. We will go over how mental illness shows up in men of color and how desensitized the culture has become.
So here are some of my unpopular opinions about men’s mental health
Men weren't taught to be emotional they were taught to keep it pushing then having it is show up later on through aggression.
Not all women provide a safe/welcoming place to allow a man to be emotional, and personally i blame the mom..........don't let them know Edi said that.
Men put their ego before their emotions
Now we'll talk about all of them later on but before we do this is a reminder i don't care if you take anything i say personal cause if we're being honest you probably needed that reality check and i'm most definitely talking about you and people that act like you but i'm not here to judge or come for anyone i'm only here to spread the word,educate and show y'all love.
If you turn on a faucet even the slightest bit you're going to get continuous droplets of water it may not be a consistent flow but its still water so picture this imagine men of color are cups and each droplet of water that falls in the cup is an emotion they had to suppress or hide, now after awhile that cup is going to overflow and whats going to happen all the years of having to hide their emotions and keep it pushing is going to show and unfortunately anger is the emotion it shows in. That's why many of us got yelled at when we were just trying to ask questions when our fathers,brothers or uncles were in distress. Now i'm not making excuses for them but i understand imagine having the world against you for decades you were never taught emotional intelligence and you're still expected to show up for your family putting yourself last every time. I don't know about you but i would lose my mind too.
Let's get into it though, we all know that men of color mental health is challenged by racism, years of neglect and not having positive emotionally intelligent figures around to guide and teach them. Over the past two weeks i've interviewed and questioned several men mental health related questions and i was not disappointed with the responses and feedback i got. I asked a couple of men what being a black man in america meant to them and here are some of the responses i got "To struggle to be a black man in america means even if you're right your wrong and there's nothing you can do about it." The response was short and simple but spoke the truth that many black men feel today. The next response I got I felt like this person was waiting all their life to answer.
"Navigating life as a black man in America presents a plethora of challenges, often overshadowing opportunities with a sense of constant struggle. In the professional world, specifically securing employment and advancing in careers, are more complicated due to systemic barriers ingrained in this already problematic society. The feeling of being overlooked in comparison to other racial groups perpetuates a disheartening reality and despite these circumstances, for me, I am determined to resist succumbing to the mental toll. Rather than succumbing to these limitations I always push to forge ahead, overcoming imposed boundaries. Everyone, irrespective of race and gender deserves equal chances at success not just in America but throughout the world."
"What being a black man in America looks like to me is being a man judged on both sides both sides of a spectrum. Ultimately being held at a disadvantage, both directly and indirectly, because of the learned habits and environment that sculpts our culture . What I mean by that is on one hand being a man on the professional end who could thrive but still susceptible to the racial injustice due to our history On the other end being sought as lesser of a person in our daily lives of due to culture alone. And although some of the things within our culture I can agree are undesirable, they are only that way also due to history and how the environments we are in influenced us. Being a black man in America looks like not only being judged by those outside our race but those within it as well. Having to live by certain standards BECAUSE we’re expected to live by certain stereotypes. Not being able to explore yourself completely and having to sculpt yourself in a manner that is fitting to our culture and the world around us being seen as odd and unacceptable if otherwise. It also looks like often being at odds with women of the SAME race and others because of the culture. We can’t love right because the world has sculpted not only men but women as well."
Now like i said a couple paragraphs ago I've taken the time to interview several men but the interview that really stuck with me and made all the difference was the in person interview i did with a group of my close male friends and they sure did not disappoint me and i'm excited to share with you all the information I've gathered just from creating a safe space for them to be open,honest and expressive. I asked the group "as men is hard for you to connect with your emotions and why" most of them agreed that its hard to connect with their emotions and a similarity they all found was who they had around them growing up didn't provide that security for them to open up or share their emotions without fear of being shamed. Another question i had that the group seemed to all share the same experience was how they choose to cope in situations where their mental health isn't the greatest. They all used sports as outlets to let emotions out surrounded by the people they trust the most and if any of you have brothers who play sports on even if you play sports to blow off steam you know how intense and real it gets and what healthier of a way to deal with your emotions running high.
I asked the men if they felt when it comes to confrontation in situations do they deflect or confront and would they say distance is the safest or is it the healthiest response to dealing with confrontation. I wasn't surprised that all of them felt differently with this topic. One of them stated that they only feel the need to confront certain friends and it depends the level of vulnerability they share if there's none shared then distance is a better response for them, another response was that they try to confront issues head on and that they appreciate when people do the same with him. Both men expressed their need for confrontation when it comes to their closest friends and it brings me to this observation. I realized loyalty is a big thing for men in their friendships its how they show their appreciation for each other, they view their friends as the family they get to choose which makes sense on why you see so many men who grow up and stay with the same friends and like Abel said you don't abandon family.
Time for some FACTS!!!!
1.Historical dehumanization, oppression, and violence against Black and African American people has evolved into present day racism
2.Help-seeking behavior is affected by mistrust of the medical system and often begins with faith-based outreach.
3.Black and African American people are more often diagnosed with schizophrenia and less often diagnosed with mood disorders compared to white people with the same symptoms. Additionally, they are offered medication or therapy at the lower rates than the general population
4.Binge drinking, smoking (cigarettes and marijuana), illicit drug use and prescription pain reliever misuse are more frequent among Black and African American adults with mental illnesses.
Imagine how much farther as a community we would be if therapy wasn't such a taboo topic in our culture, "If a black man is able to find a treatment that is culturally responsive that he understands and that embraces the uniqueness of his difference he is more likely to use that service. Interventions shouldn't just be about healing and restoring black men. We also need to think about the talent were hemorrhaging by not proving black men with the proper support. Think of all the innovators,entrepreneurs,scientist and physicians there would be if black men weren't being killed with impunity by police officers and if we were creating spaces for them to heal,grow and think."
Mental health is an integral part of our overall well-being, yet, for many, seeking support remains challenging. This is especially true for Latino men, who face unique cultural and societal challenges when confronting mental health issues.
At the heart of the Hispanic/Latino (H/L) cultures is an emphasis on strength, resilience, and self-reliance. These values, although positive in many respects, can inadvertently act as barriers. The concept of machismo, which cherishes traditional masculine traits like dominance, stoicism, and emotional restraint, might suggest that seeking help for mental health is a sign of weakness. However, it is essential to recognize that seeking help is, in fact, a sign of strength and self-awareness.
For some H/L men, language barriers and limited access to culturally competent mental health services can make seeking support even more challenging. Without the ability to communicate effectively with mental health professionals, these men might feel isolated or misunderstood, making them hesitant to seek the help they need.
The key to destigmatizing mental health among Latino men is communication. By fostering open discussions, we can challenge prevailing stigmas and build safe spaces for men to share their experiences. Let us remember that mental health is interconnected with other aspects of well-being, like physical health and relationships. By promoting mental health awareness, we are advocating for holistic well-being.
H/L communities must be equipped with accurate information about mental health. We can significantly reduce stigma by introducing educational initiatives that dispel myths and provide resources. Furthermore, creating accessible, culturally competent mental health services is paramount.
Only by aligning support with the cultural backgrounds of Latino men can we truly bridge the gap between traditional values and the necessity of mental health care.
It’s crucial that we start having these conversations with our Black/Latino and Hispanic dads,brothers,uncles etc they deserve to have a voice the same voice that the world has been trying to silence for years and its time we shut that down. Our men are dying physically, mentally and I fear for the future of our younger generations if we don't start taking this more seriously. we need more advocates we need more advocates THAT LOOK LIKE US we need to create community if we want to see any kind of change, and while I know i may just be one person but if I can reach a crowd matter of a fact if I can reach just one person if I can get you the reader right now to spark something whether it’s an emotion a conversation even a share that to me is a stepping stone for what advocacy looks like. I see you I hear you and I feel you.
"In recognizing the humanity of our fellows beings,we pay ourselves the highest tribute" - Thurgood Marshall
"Emotions held us back especially as men we weren't taught how to express ourselves and most of it was from not seeing our fathers do so". D.F
"Growing up i wasn't always comfortable expressing myself and that came from not feeling like i could open up to my mom she always kind of took it as a joke so now i just see it as normal" A.G
“The ability to express oneself is fundamental in my opinion, serving as a core aspect of personal identity. For me, freedom of expression holds immense value, influencing every detail in my life, as I also feel like it should in others as well. I direct this passion into my creative pursuits, finding solace and fulfillment in endeavors like photography, designing and other various forms of art. Through these, I channel my emotions, thoughts, and ideas, transforming them into tangible forms that communicate their innermost self to the world.” J.C
https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/09/ce-black-mental-health
https://www.edi.nih.gov/blog/communities/mental-health-and-latino-men-breaking-barriers-stigma